The First Step
We have all dreamed a grand and glorious dream which excited us to our very core, gave us a sense of purpose, helped us jump out of bed in the morning ready to change the world. With this dream in hand, we are inspired, embodied, courageous and ready to embrace our flow. We bask in the glow of life and our potential.
We come with the purest intentions and sincere desire to realize this dream, to forge this fire into the future we so long to build. We know this is our calling, our purpose, our future.
And then the “buts” arrive.
But how? But what if? But why? But, but, but. All of the sudden we see this glorious dream which once seemed right in hand fade further and further away. Now it seems a impassable chasm divides us from the greener pastures we desire.
“Aha! I can still get there. I’ll just wait until the perfect solution comes along. I will absolutely know it when it comes. And then I’ll get there. Until then, I’ll just stay here in my safe, comfortable home.”
Does that thought process sound familiar to you?
How many of us find ourselves trapped in this holding pattern? Wanting to reach the other shore but stuck where we are. Each time we try to face this chasm and make our way to that dream, we are met with a chorus of self-doubt, apprehension, imposter syndrome, fear of failure, genuine uncertainty at what path could possibly take us there. All of these keeping us trapped within the gates of our current position.
We have all been burned. We have all felt shame. We have failed. We have put ourselves out there and received pain, rejection, isolation in return. We have botched a big opportunity because we didn’t quite know what to do/we tried something and it didn’t work out. We have been made to feel small by others, learning that if we are big, if we think big, if we dream big, if we embrace ourselves it is to the detriment + discomfort of others.
These experiences + learnings have served us at times. They have kept us safe. They have given us answers (whether valid or not) in the face of uncertainty + the pain of unknowing, allowing us to soothe our wounds. These past pains have brick by brick built up walls + fortresses which, we believe, let us survive in this chaotic world. We devote ourselves (our time, our energy, our abilities) to keeping these crumbling walls intact.
These walls. They crumble for a reason. Each of these past pains taught you a lesson. Helped you to discover yourself, to learn boundaries, to identify what does and does not serve you, to distinguish distraction from joy, and so much more. They helped you to grow, to level up. Yet, simultaneously, we held on to wounds + pain of the experiences to build those walls.
As you heal, those walls crumble. You no longer need that defensive protection shielding you whilst you rediscover your feet, your strength. So the wall is designed to fall away to allow you to expand, to grow into this new space.
Now, back to that holding pattern. This holding pattern, this chasm which keeps us from realizing our dreams is really just these crumbling walls. Instead of letting them crumble + fall away, we have frantically devoted ourselves to keeping them standing. We think they are keeping us safe and are a requirement for our safety.
But instead, what they are, is keeping us small.
These walls. They keep us stuck, stagnant, constricted. They may feel familiar and provide a sense of comfort. But they are unworthy of you.
All of that past pain you experienced, all of the times you have fallen, all of the times you felt scared, rejected, ashamed, alone, hurt, in pain, you rose. You did not stay cowering + succumbed to that pain. You rose. You dusted yourself off, learned your lesson and stood tall again. You grew. You became stronger. You became more compassionate, to yourself and the world. You saw more clearly. You found your worth.
By feeding these walls, you deny yourself that rising, that growth, that worth. That is why these walls are unworthy of you. What is inside them is so much greater than the space you are allowing them.
Let them crumble.
What is left may feel exposed. Vulnerable. Scary. That is okay. You are exactly where you are meant to be. You have learned + grown. You are enough.
Now, come back to that radiant dream.
Are you meant to be able to see the clear, exact path which will lead you there directly? Nope.
And thank heavens for that! Where is the fun? The exploration? The journey?
This darkness between you and your dream is not a scary monster. It is your playground. Your space to trial, err, explore and shape. Each step you take will help light the way. The steps together will culminate in a beautiful tapestry of light that showcases the unique colors of your journey.
You will experiences those pains again. They will be a part of your tapestry. Let them serve you. Let them teach you, guide you, lift you up. Honor the walls as they serve you, but let them crumble with you as you grow.
You will not know the whole path, you will discover it step by step.
You do not have to know where you are going. Your steps are not defined by success or “rightness.” They are defined only by the fact that you dared enough to take them and what you discover along the way.
So now, remember that glorious dream, that call to purpose, the sense of potential. Keep your sight set on that glow. And just step.
The most glorious part of any journey is the first step out your door.
Liza Tullidge is a serial entrepreneur, investor + advisor focused on reengineering business + individuals to build a better planet. Find out more about Liza + her work at www.lizatullidge.com